Broad is a monthly blogezine on a mission to feminize1 “funny”.
We are women and we are writers. Hear us roar. Hear us whimper. Hear us complain that the humidity is ruining our hair and that our men never pick up their underwear off the floor.2
And let US tell the joke.3
The point is, we are women, except those of us pretending to be women, and we are proud (and the pretending one is proud of her pretending), and we are funny.4
Indeed, we adore men, but this has nothing to do with doors, or men. It’s about how we want to take the current vision of funny5 and break it into tiny, pieces and to let the guys sort out those pieces, dividing them into fairly-evenly divided piles and, then, to let the ladies pick first because it is our turn to tell the joke.6
Forsooth,7 if there is a joke about we want to tell it! If there is a prank8 to pull, we want to pull it! If there is satire, caricature, burlesque, persiflage, or pasquinade9 about, we want to engage in it. We are committed to Funny. Even if it’s pregnant, we want to marry it!10
But you won’t catch me spreading rumors about Funny.11 This isn’t about that.
Shucks,12 (and other unfashionable transitions), we just want you to laugh. We would do anything for a glimpse of your smile.13
1Let me make this clear, Dad. We don’t want to make men or frogs into Eunuchs like the Catholic Church and Monsanto has; we don’t have anything to do with the castrati. We just want to start a femerati. And we want it to rule the world. Is that so wrong?
2Or let us out of the house. Please, dear. You know how much I hate being locked in a closet.
3At least, turn on the light in the hallway. Remember how happy it makes me to see the light under the door?
4The only way this is funny is that it is pathetic. Telling somebody that you are funny makes you not funny. Everybody knows that.
5Footnotes are funny.
6I promise, if you let me tell it, I won’t explain the joke.
7From Old English, forsōth: for, for; see for + sōth, truth. It means indeed.
9Thesaurus crossing here.
10But we can’t because when God created Adam and Eve he ordained marriage as the fundamental institution of society. No such blessing was given by God for Funny, which is very sad. I’m so sorry, Funny.
11Funny is a slut.
12As you might expect, I look bashful when I write, “shucks.”
13Except that. I save THAT for Mardi Gras in New Orleans.