The moment in The Breakfast Club that forever captured the imagination of young women of a certain generation occurred when Claire placed a cylinder of lipstick in her diminutive cleavage and proceeded to successfully coat her lips by simply bending her head. http://youtu.be/m-q41g6TPB4
If there’s room in the bra for a bit of lipstick, there’s space for a lot more, especially as we get older. Once babies are born and a magical age reached – probably around 32 – boobs simply need to be folded into the cups of a bra anyway, leaving plenty of room for accouterments.
Thanks to Claire, we can now picture a life without giant purses of random knick-knacks, instead embracing the freedom of a hands-free, pared-down way to carry what we need for any eventuality.
For those of you who haven’t yet realized the handiness of a good set of knockers in just about any situation, here’s a list. Print it out. Keep it close to your heart.
The hallmark activity of every woman everywhere, running errands requires a focus and tenacity that encourages a hands-free way of life. Forget losing keys or a cell phone in the bottom of a purse that only seems to get larger with time. Simply stash them in a bra, preferably of the sportsing variety, for a close fit and easy reach.
Heading to the Gym
This situation brings complications in the form of sweat and movement. Even though a sports bra can hold a significant amount besides The Ladies, it will get nasty as glistening occurs. The key to this scenario is minimalism – carry only what you absolutely need: ID and keys should do nicely. Then place them to the side until grunting and sweating is done.
Going to the Movies
The cost of simply getting into a movie in a theater these days is enough to turn your over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder into a smuggling operation rivaling Prohibition. Grab a bra that gives The Girls a little extra room and store candy and even a sandwich. They might check purses or backpacks before you take your seat and start unloading, but the bra is – understandably and wonderfully – off-limits for prying theater managers.
The additional advantage to this scenario occurs when paired with a v-neck shirt. The amount of movie popcorn that can be collected in cleavage during a movie’s running time can fill a child-size bucket. Just be sure to collect it before standing up once the movie is over, or there will be a trail of popcorn left behind ala Hansel and Gretel. This isn’t a fairy tale.
The obvious advantages here is a place to stash cash, ID and a phone (in order to text, “where u at?”). But one important element often overlooked is a pocket knife, just in case anyone in your party needs to “cut a b*tch.”
At the Casino
There’s nothing like a good game of Texas Hold ‘Em to get the adrenaline pumping, and kicking a purse all night while trying to bluff can be a distraction. Instead, stash the cash in the bra. Whip out the sweaty boob money just when you need to cover a tell or cause a distraction. Works every time.
Thanks in part to Claire from The Breakfast Club, women are discovering that bras aren’t just for supporting the sag. It’s becoming increasingly clear that a hands-free way of life can be ours, as we decide what we can and will carry.
What can this include?
Anything we want.